The story of an Idealic King, featuring a Realand Queen and the general mismanagement of circumstance
Poor Chess: A Few Days in the Life of an Idealic King contains a few days in the life of Archibald Wisenhunt, the eighteen-year-old all-powerful ruler of Idealia. Over the matter of these few days, Archibald experiences a number of events that lead him to suspect an imminent plot against his life. What follows is a satire on the subtle, as Archibald spirals his way toward that which seems to encircle him. A parody on the perceptions of power-players, these few days in the life of an Idealic King prove true the saying that the poorest played chess is misplayed checkers.
First published March 2023, a new edition released September 2024.
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Excerpts
For a moment, the sun was in Archibald Wisenhunt’s eyes; however, the young King of Idealia, seventh of his name, quickly turned aside his head. Thus, in mock evaluation of his hundred-strong right flank, Archibald escaped the ire of the brightness.
A Palatial who stood guarding the King, misinterpreting the movement of his sovereign, took a step forward from the semicircle that was formed behind Archibald, and he made brave to ask whether the gesture in question was intended to open the proceedings.
“Shall we order the March, Our Idol?” he asked.
“I am merely in evaluation,” Archibald quickly replied, and he made sure to speak in the royal manner of not deigning to move one’s head.
With a deep bow, the Palatial returned to his place. The collection of individuals, which numbered Archibald and his nine guards, stood on a small platform that was elevated off the ground by roughly the height of the average man. Having been temporarily constructed to serve the holiday proceedings, this stage afforded those on it with a slight overview of the cascading rows of soldiers who, for that day, were allowed to number themselves among the Holy Vanguard.
Unwilling to tempt any more turnings of his head, even considering the fact that the sun was now recovered by a bank of clouds, Archibald began to, indeed, evaluate the right flank of soldiers that he faced. At first thought, upon seeing the loose and revelous collection, the young King condemned those servants of his in a few under-breath words. Second thoughts, however, which included reflection, reminded the young King reminded that the day’s holiday was, after all, intended for them, and the hundred that he saw, like the other two hundred who comprised the total of that day’s ceremonial army, had been handpicked from all corners of Idealia due to their good looks whilst enarmoured, not their professionalism.
-opening to Part One, Chapter One
The Palatial in question detached from the train, and he started toward the soothsayer with evident purpose. At seeing himself sought, the soothsayer became frightened, and he attempted to shirk away into the crowd, but assurances from the Palatial stopped him.
“What is it that you wish to tell our Idol?” the Palatial asked. “He listens, he promises.”
“Beware the ides of March,” the soothsayer replied.
“What did he say?” Archibald asked.
“The man bids you beware the ides of March,” the Palatial answered.
Archibald thought for a moment.
“Is that so?” he asked, himself addressing the soothsayer.
“Beware the ides of March,” the man repeated.
“He said the same before, Our Idol,” the Palatial confirmed.
“Very well,” Archibald said. “Thank him for his advice, and let us be on our way. Hurry now.”
